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Confessions of a Crazy Mom.....

8/1/2013

30 Comments

 
It all started off very normal....
I was helping my children clean their rooms and I mean 'really' clean their rooms, not that hide all our crap under the bed type of room cleaning they do when they really want to go outside and play. 
It was actually going very well without any fussing or fighting.  I had the kids all cleaning their drawers, refolding the  the clean clothes that had just been tossed in without a care.   Again it was all going well, so I left and went to clean and organize their bathroom, which was in serious need of attention.  I opened drawers IN THE BATHROOM to find:  A half-eaten cup of yogurt...I had not bought that type of yogurt in AT LEAST 2 weeks.  I also found granola bar wrappers, empty packages of Doritos (this is what I get for letting them go to the shoppette by themselves....) and all kinds of other garbage, and I mean LITERALLY - GARBAGE. 
As I cleaned I lectured, not yelling, but loud enough for them to hear me in a halfhearted joking and not joking voice I was saying things like:
 "Seriously guys, there is a trash can not even a foot away!!  Throw it in the trash! How can you be so lazy?" 
I'm sure they were off in their rooms rolling their eyes at me.  The grosses thing I found though was their 'tooth care drawer'....
"Why on God's green earth (one of my favorite sayings) are there HAIR BRUSHES mixed with your toothbrushes and floss!?  That is so gross.  Do you really want to brush your teeth with hair pieces?  Yuck, yuck, yuck!" 
I'm sure more eye rolling was going on behind my back.  During all this I was pretty calm and we were even kind of laughing at their nastiness.  Finally I made it to under the sink.  This is where I found all kinds of craziness....a little mini bathtub filled with water, that I spilled, more garbage, some sort of science experiment & some kind of gel substance in a big heap. And then I found a cut up tee shirt stuffed in the back corner.  I looked at the shirt realized it was one I threw out because of stains - not a big deal, but a lecture was brewing in my head.  I called them all over and said : 
"This is not a big deal and no one is going to get in trouble - so who did this?" 
All in unison they said "Not me!" 
I repeated myself, "come on guys, SOMEONE did this it didn't happen all by itself.  No one is going to get in trouble, I'm just going to lecture you about cleaning up after yourself...why would you stick this in the corner of the cabinet and not put it in the garbage, so just tell me who did it, you will not get in trouble." 
They all insisted they did not do it. 
Then they started pointing fingers. 
I gave them a few more chances but at this point it is no longer about the lecture.  Now someone is lying to me.  In our house the biggest offence you can make is lying.  So I said to the:
"Come on guys, I've told you no one is going to get in trouble and this is your very last chance to come clean without punishment.  If you don't come clean I am grounding you all.  You will do NOTHING until I find out who did this. You will not go to Vacation Bible School tomorrow, you won't go to the water park on Thursday and you will clean my house top to bottom with a toothbrush and I'm NOT kidding.  You guys will do nothing."  (I totally thought this would work and I would NOT have to carry through with the threats I just made.)
They all looked at me and then they started turning on each other.  You should have heard the crying and the finger pointing that was going on.
The confession didn't happen.....so I said "I'm giving you 5 minutes together to work this out.  The guilty party needs to come to me with an apology and confession."
I shut the door and let them be together.
5 minutes passed and all I heard was crying and blame.
NO ONE CONFESSED.
They even blamed it on one of Girls friends ("because when they come over they are always hiding in the bathroom!").
Now I'm mad. 
Now I have to follow through.
Damnit.  I totally thought that would work. 
Then I called them in one by one and lectured them and tried to get a confession out of each one.
We talked about lying, we talked about your conscious or the lack of one, we talked about how horrible it was to let your siblings take the blame for something you did. 
All the while my heart is breaking because someone is lying about something so small that they weren't even going to get in trouble for and now it has escalated to where EVERYONE is in trouble.
After speaking to each one individually I sent them to their rooms to think and I stayed in my room to think.
After a little while I called the all downstairs and told them to hit the floor we are doing PT till someone confesses.  (I knew this would work!)  We started with flutter kicks then went to push-ups and then planks. Then my daughter started crying and with tears streaming down her faces said "I did it."
I sent the boys upstairs and started the lecture.
"Girl - why would you lie about something so small and insignificant?  You aren't even in trouble for the shirt now you are in trouble for something even bigger.  You lied to me AND you were willing to let your brothers be punished for your lies.  That breaks my heart and shows me that we have lots to work on - where was your conscious during this? Wasn't your inner voice screaming at you to tell the truth?"   My heart was breaking as tears streamed down her face.  I wanted to hug her because I saw the hurt in her eyes, but I was also mad at her for lieing to me and knew we needed to have this talk, and that is when her tears started gushing out even more and she said, "I didn't really do it mom."
Me, "What?!? Why would you confess if you didn't do it?"
Her,  through tears and sobbing she said, "Because I love my brothers and I just didn't want to see them get in more trouble so I am going to take the blame."
Me, "so you didn't do it?" 
Her, "No, but you can punish me."
I called the boys  back downstairs told them what she did thinking a confession was coming from one of the boys, but still I got nothing.  We talked about how her love for them was so strong that she was willing to take the blame for something she didn't do.
It was at this moment I saw something in their eyes.
We went back to PT.
During the PT they started banding together and were all taking through the flutter kicks saying "Mom, maybe someone else did it, maybe it was one of Girl's friends."
After more PT and tears Boy 3 said though his tears, "I did it."
Even though I found this hard to believe and I thought he was the less likely of them all (the cutting in a straight line was too good to be him) I sent the other two upstairs and started in with the same lecture....and the same thing happened....he didn't really do it either. 
I called all the kids back downstairs.
I sent the Boy 3 upstairs to get the shirt. 
With all of them standing in front of me I really looked at that shirt and was wondering what I was going to do.  I didn't want to punish them. 
I wanted this to be over.
I wanted them to go to Vacation Bible School tomorrow, I wanted them to go to the waterpark. 
What on earth was I going to do??  (Hubby wasn't home to talk with this about..)
 Why are they lying to me?
As all these things were racing though my head it hit me.....
OH MY GOSH....am I wrong?  Look at this shirt.  The top half has bleach stains on it - It smells of cleaning supplies.  My house keeper hides her sponges under the sink because I told her too because if Hubby finds sponges he throws them away.  What if SHE DID THIS.....
I gave the kids hugs and kisses and told them I love them no matter what and sent them to bed. 
Then I sent my housekeeper a text with a picture of the shirt.
I waited and waited for her to respond.  She never did.
I went to bed with a heavy heart.
The next morning I check my text - still nothing.
I woke the kids up and told them to get dressed for Vacation Bible School. 
They were surprised and said to me, "but you said we couldn't go to VBS." (See, honest kids....)
 I told them I was sending them because it was apparent that one of them needed to find God, even though at this moment I was still struggling with what to do.    I was really begining to think that my children were telling me the truth the entire time.  My heart was broken that I didn't believe them and I was really hoping my housekeeper would confirm that my children were being honest.  I WANT to believe my children,  and it really isn't like any of them to lie to me.  (Seriously, they typically tell the truth because they know the truth is much better in the long run.  Lying is never good and the punishment in this house is much worse for lying than any other crime.)
Finally the text came through - I was at the commissary on the coffee isle when I saw it.  It was Rosie, our housekeeper and she responded.  My heart sank as I read her word: "yes Ms. Trish, that is my cleaning shirt, I found it in the trash so I didn't think you would mind."
I was flooded with so much emotion that tears started flowing down my face -RIGHT THERE IN THE COMMISSARY.
I felt so much guilt. 
I felt so much relief.
I didn't believe my children.
I was mean.
I broke their hearts.
I didn't believe my children.
How am I going to ask for their forgiveness?
I beat myself up for the rest of that commissary trip (I'm finally coming to grips with it 2 days later).
That is when I headed over to soda isle, and bought IBC Root Beers, then I headed to the ice cream isle and bought 5 different gallons of ice cream.
When I saw my children after VBS, I called them over and said I needed a group hug. 
They all came; no questions ask and hugged me while we were hugging one of them said "You found out who did, didn't you?"
With tears in my eyes I said "yes'.  As I kissed each one of them on the head I said "I am so sorry I didn't believe you, I'm so sorry. It was Ms. Rosie."
All three of my children hugged me tighter and said "It's ok mom, we love you. You are the best mom ever!"  (And this is before they knew what was for lunch!)
They forgave me so easily.
For them it was over with just those few little words.
Then Girl looked at me and said, "you know what I learned today Mom?"
Me, "What?"
Girl, "That praying works."
Me, "Really, why do you say that?"
Girl, "Well, today at VBS they told us we had to pick one thing to pray about and I prayed that would find out who cut the shirt and you did! So praying works!"  As she said this she beamed!
That is when the boys chimed in and said, "Hey, that is what I prayed about too!"
Tears streamed down my face and I apologized again and said "yes, honey praying does work."
And then I told the them what they were having for lunch.
They couldn't believe they were getting an ENTIRE GALLON of ice cream to themselves and to head to the fridge and pick out the flavor they wanted.....
And they did, without fighting and they once again told me I was the BEST MOM EVER.
I'm not sure what I did to deserve such amazing kids.
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Things I learn today:

Family bond.  Even if I don't see it every day, my kids have an amazing bond and when the time comes to stick together they do.  I found out later they all believed each other and they were certain someone else came into our house and cut up the shirt.

Children are very forgiving - I need to take notes on forgiveness from my children.  I'm amazed at how easily they forgave me.  I need to be quick to forgive.

Unconditional love -I have always known I have unconditional love for my kids, but today I learn that they have unconditional love for me.

And from the mouths of my babies:  praying works.
30 Comments

Cranberry Walnut Scones

12/2/2012

2 Comments

 
Who doesn't love a nice light and fluffy warm scone - I'm not a fan of the dense ones - but give me a light and fluffy scone with a nice cup of java and I am a happy girl!  Cranberry-walnut are my favorite although the cherry with dark chocolate chunks are pretty good too.  It's been at least a year since I made these bad boys and I wonder to myself why I don't make them more often.  If you want to have these fresh for breakfast you have to do a little advance planning OR you can make them the night before and heat them up in the morning.  These guys also freeze very well - before eating just pull out of the freezer let them thaw on the counter top and then heat in the microwave for about 30-45 seconds or wrap them in loose fitting foil and pop in the oven at 350 degrees F for about 5-10 minutes.

2 3/4 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1 TBL baking powder
1/2 cup cold butter
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup chopped walnuts
zest of 1/2 an orange
2 large eggs
juice from 1/2 an orange
1/2 a cup of milk

In a large bowl mix together flour, sugar, salt and baking powder. 
Using a pastry cutter cut butter into flour mixture just until the mixture is crumbly. 
Stir in cranberries, walnuts & orange zest.
Add wet ingredients & mix well.

Line your counter (or cookie sheet) with parchment paper and dust parchment paper with flour.
Divide dough in half.  Round each half into a circle - your circles should be between 5 & 6 inches round and 3/4 of an inch thick:
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Slice circles into 8 pieces with a sharp knife dipped in flour and genlty pull them away from each other leaving about 1/2 an inch space in between each scone. 
Brush the scones with milk and sprinkle with course sugar.
If you were working on the counter move the parchemnt paper with the scones on it to a cookie sheet.
Place scones on the cookie sheet in the freezer for about 30 minutes. (This step is important in helping get the light and fluffy texture and a higher rise.)
While scones are chilling heat oven to 425 degrees F.

Bake scones for 20-25 minutes or until they are golden brown.
Remove scones from the oven and brush with melted butter. 
Eat warm!
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The original recipe came from King Authur's flour - I modified it just a tad. 
Happy baking!
2 Comments

Mussels in Spicy White Wine Sauce & Cheesy Garlic Bread

8/1/2012

5 Comments

 
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HOLY SMOKES.  I totally outdid myself on dinner tonight.  It was A M A Z I N G ! ! !  I had to come straight to my computer to tell you all about it.  My kitchen isn't even clean. True story. 

I know this meal needs a better name, but I can't think of one and it doesn't really matter.  Just make it and eat it and drink the wine that goes with it.  You will be happy you did.

So, we need to start at the beginning.  This morning I went to the fish market at 8:30AM (after 5:30AM swim team and 7:30AM swim lessons - I just HAD to throw that in ;o).  It was a quick trip.  I knew what I was going for.  Mussels, 1 kilogram = 2,000 won.  I bought 2 kilograms which is 4.4 pounds.  I bought 4.4 pounds of 'FRESHIE' (you must live here to understand) mussels for $3.55!!!!  I'm not kidding!  After the fish market I ran home, stuck the bag in the fridge and opened it so the mussels could breath and headed out to the fabric market (that blog is coming soon). 

Anyway, fast forward to tonight.

MUSSELS IN SPICY WHITE WINE SAUCE...
Here we go. 
As with all fresh mussels you want to do a little maintenance. 
First, put them in fresh water so they can spit out any dirt they may have eaten.  Soak them for at least 20 minutes. 
While they are hanging out in the water you want to remove the 'beards' and toss out any that are dead. 
To tell if a mussel is dead - easy, it is open and will not close when you tap on it or mess with it.  Toss this guy.  Also if his shell is broken or cracked, toss him.
Next - debearding.   The beard is the funky junk hanging out of the mussel.  Grab the beard and pull down towards the bottom of the shell.  The beard should come right out.  If it doesn't, just cut it off.  No biggie. The beard will not harm you if you eat a little of it. 
Now, on to the recipe:

1 box of fettuccine
4 TBL butter
1 small onion, diced
8-10 garlic cloves, chopped
1 cup of dry white wine. (I only cook with wine that I am willing to drink.)
2 medium size tomatoes, chopped
2/3 cups of bottled clam juice
4.4 pounds of fresh mussels
1-2 TBL crushed red pepper (depending on how spicy you like)
3 sprigs of rosemary
Asiago cheese - I found some with rosemary and olive oil - YUM!

- Cook pasta in boiling water until almost al dente; (about 8-9 minutes) drain. Put past in a large bowl.
- Melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat.  Add onions and garlic to pan and cook about 5 minutes or until onions are tender. 
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I like chunks of garlic instead of minced.
Add wine to pan.  Let it cook down for about 4-5 minutes stirring occasionally.  (This wine was VERY YUMMY in the recipe and in the glass.)
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Add the clam juice, tomatoes, fresh rosemary and crushed red pepper.  Cook for about 2 minutes - bring to a boil. 
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Add mussels, one layer at a time.  (I had to do this in 3 separate cooking sessions.)  Cook the mussels covered in the tomato/butter mixture for 4 minutes or until the mussels open.  Remove the mussels and repeat until all mussels are cooked.  If mussels a few mussels do not open, toss them. 

Pour mussels and sauce over pasta.
Sprinkle with Asiago cheese.
Pour yourself and your loved one a glass of vino.
Enjoy.
 
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Cheesy Garlic Bread

You will need garlic bread to sop up the amazing sauce you just created.

1 loaf of your favorite bread. 
1/2 cup of butter - melted
4-6 cloves of fresh minced garlic
Fresh mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese, or my new favorite Asiago with rosemary and olive oil

Cut bread in half lengthwise.
Melt butter, add fresh minced garlic cloves to melted butter
Spread 1/2 the garlic butter on each side of the bread
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Add your favorite cheese to the bread.  As much or as litte as you would like. 
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This picture was taken by my 6 year old, Boy 3. ;o)
Bake at 400 degrees F for 8-12 minutes or until all cheese is melted.  (I made one half with Asiago and one half with fresh mozzarella.)
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When you are finished with your meal, sop the juices up with your bread.
Ahhh...heaven.
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5 Comments
    “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you 
    did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   
    ―     Maya Angelou
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    Author

    Hi, I'm Trish, the writer, creator and photographer of this blog.  I started this blog for 2 reasons, 1 - When I found out we were moving to Korea back in 2008 I was a little freaked out and started scouring the internet for information on Korea. At that time there wasn't much out there so I am doing my part in helping families across the world not be so freaked out when it comes time to move to Korea.  The 2nd reason I started this blog was to help stay connected to family members back in the states.  Today it is so much more that.
    I hope you enjoy our journey.

    Are you moving to Korea?  Do you have questions, concerns?  Are you freaking out?   Freak out no further -  click the button to ask a question.  I'll do my best to answer open and honestly.
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