When I hear the word "resolution" I actually think 'failure' because so many people make New Year's resolutions and they 'fail'. I've heard it my entire life:
How are you doing on your resolution? Not good.
Did you do it, did you complete your New Year's resolution...No.
How is that resolution coming along....Well, the first week was good.
And then there is always the first 2 weeks of the New Year at the gym. For the regulars we can't get into our normal class because it is full or there are no treadmills. The gym is SO busy for the first 2 weeks of the year, but by the end of January it is back to the 'normal' gym rats.
Over and OVER I hear how people fail at resolutions. Why make them? Why put yourself through that? Why not make goals instead? Is it really that easy - just changing the wording? Well, that AND making it a goal that you REALLY want to work on and ones that you are committed to.
Have I made goals and failed? Of course I have (I still haven't run that 10K!), but they don't feel so bad (most of the time) because I TRIED and maybe I fell short for one reason or another. Or maybe I didn't try at all (that's when I feel bad...like the 10K..). A few years back I made a goal to play ONE board game a week with my family. I failed MISERABLY - and how simple does that sound? It's just one board game a week.
However I have succeeded more times than not -the goal I am the most proud of I made when I was 23. I used to be a NEGATIVE NELLY. I talked about people all the time. From what they wore to how they disciplined their kids to how they wore their make up, to how large or how small they were. I felt everyone/everything was out to get me. I was totally insecure about myself and I made myself feel better by putting down other people.
But I was taking note, the people I admired the most never talked poorly about others, they didn't complain much and they didn't talk about people behind their backs. So that New Year's back in 91 I decided it was a time for a change. I decided my goal would be to STOP talking about people. To stop saying negative things out loud. And I did. Was it hard? Of course. Did I slip up? Way too many times. Did those things still go through my head? Of course they did, but the first step was to stop saying them out loud. Over the years and the more goals I have made those negative thought rarely surface (of course I still have them from time to time - we all have bad days and I am human after all!) But now I have more positive thoughts and I point those out to people instead of the negative.... I tell people all the time that I like their shoes, their tops or how well behaved their children are. Positivity breeds positivity! It's true!
Today I don't stay things about people that I would not say to their face. (99% of the time anyway...unfortunatly I occasionally slip up.)
But that has come after years of practice.
"They" (I'm not sure who they are) say it takes 30 days to create a new habit so I am hoping that by the end of January I have a few new habits created!
Here goes my list for 2013
Typically I don't share my goals...I keep them to myself, I can't stand to fail or disappoint people (maybe I should work on that!)....
SO, here goes.....
1. In the mornings, I can only look at FB or write blog post until 6AM. From 6AM-7:30ish NO COMPUTER - NO EXCEPTIONS.
**I am a morning person, I get my best work done in the morning. Morning time has always been just for me. But lately (Since moving to Korea) I have been getting sucked into this 'me morning time'. I don't want it to end - I want to extend it until I am done with what I am working on. Which means I end up running around like a crazy woman in the mornings trying to get everyone out the door with lunches packed & coffee in hand all while trying to respond to FB messages, emails or write that one thing on the blog post that sounds so good in my head and if I don't write it down right now I will forget.... No more. Nope, now I have a timer that goes off at 6AM. If I'm not done, too bad. I shut the computer down and can't get back on till AFTER the kids gone and the kitchen is clean. (Silly, I know, but this is what I have to do to myself! Creating a new habit is what it's all about....)
I've got to tell you, this is one I have stuck by (all 13 days of 2013 - OK, really only 9 days if you count the weekends ) and it is working like a charm. (Despite the fact that I still have urges to get back on the computer when I hear my phone ding alerting me that I have message waiting for me! Must turn off email & text dinger in the mornings!!)
2. Get really organized.
I feel like I am pretty organized, but if you ask Hubby I'm guessing he would say no, as he makes little comments here and there. BUT I absolutely have room for improvement. Especially for after school.....signing papers, helping with homework, getting snack on the table, working on dinner....
3. Make sure Hubby and kids know that they are my 1st priority in life.
I have been volunteering too much in the past which takes up a ton of my time. I love volunteering because I am a nurturer and I love to help, but there comes a time when one realizes their family is missing out on some of that nurturing so one needs to refocus on the things that are most important - family. I have cut back on volunteering since the move to Korea, but as soon as my current positions are up I am saying NO to volunteering for the remainder of the year with the exception of field trips and doing things DIRECTLY with my children. (Wish me luck - I am going to need it.)
4. Let things and people go that bring me down and don't help me achieve the best me I can be.
I don't have many people in my life that bring me down. I select my friends wisely (for the most part). I try to stay away from the negative nellies and don't get sucked into their drama. (That doesn't mean that if a friend is having a bad day I won't be there for them because I will. And I'll bring the wine.) If you are a chronic complainer on FB and you are my friend, guess what, I probably don't see your comments on a daily basis, I have your feeds hidden. It's not because I don't love you, but I just don't have time for all that negativity. Ever heard the saying negativity breeds negativity? It is so true, but it is also true for the opposite - positivity breeds positivity. I'm not saying my life is all peaches and cream, but I choose to be happy and sometimes those choices mean letting go.....
5. Stay fit and healthy. This year I totally want ROCKin' arms. (Like my friend Jenna)
6. Be positive and cheerful, especially to children and Hubby.
The people I love the most are the people that see my 'worst' side. I need to work on this.
7. Learn Lightroom and how to REALLY use my super cool camera.
8. Start young girls club. (for my daughter & her friends - I know this sounds like volunteering, but it really isn't, it is connecting with my daughter in a positive way)
9. Work on photo books.
10. I have a couple of more, but they are more personal and I'm not going to share them with you. :o)
What are your goals for 2013?