I didn't sleep well last night.
I knew I would be leaving early and I was very torn. Although I couldn't wait to see my husband and kids, my heart ached at the thought of walking out of that hospital and leaving my sister there. The good news was that she was leaving today as well. Heading home to see if she might be more comfortable in her own surroundings. I wanted to go with her to her house, get her settled and know that she was going to be fine.
As I laid in bed early this morning I didn't want to move. I didn't want to wake my sister. I didn't want to think of anything for fear of the tears pouring out my face. I didn't want to leave.
The nurse came in and that was my queue to jump in the shower.
I got dressed, cleaned up the room and sat silently.
Since I couldn't take it any longer I knew I had to say goodbye and just leave.
I went to her bedside, gave my sister a hug and cried silently with her.
As I pulled away I went to wipe the tears from her face when she pushed my hand away and said "Don't wipe my tears, I just had chemo, it could hurt you."
She was thinking about me.
She didn't want me to touch her tears for fear of hurting me.
This touched me to my core.
I don't have a picture from this day.
Only my memories.